I would be a GREAT girlfriend

 originally posted June 27, 2006

 

I would be a GREAT girlfriend

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Okay so I get this bulletin named Application. It's all questions about being a girlfriend/boyfriend. So I filled it out. I did get a responce from the head office, but it looks like they are going to fill the position with someone else.

why do you want to be my girlfriend/boyfriend?

Ive never been a girlfriend/boyfriend before. It sounds like fun!

What are your hobbies?

Answering dumbass bulletins.

Favorite bands?

Marching ones

Thongs granny panties, boxers, or nothing?

Oddly enough I wear a special combination of ALL of these in one.

What kind of sheets do you prefer...silky, cotton, flannel, etc...?

Has to be cotton, otherwise the other members of the Klan laugh at me when we burn crosses together.

Do you snore???

Like a freakin cartoon character.

Which side of the bed do you prefer!

top

Sing?

Like a freakin' cartoon character

Political affiliation?

Libertairian Losers

Hermits for freedom

 

Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not love just want to bone badly at first sight

Do you smoke cigarettes?

No but if the cool kids dare me I will

Do you like to draw..paint..write other creative stuff?

I make fun of those who do in a creative way. Thats kind of like performance art right?

Favorite movie?

Citizen Kane and Girls Who like Girls part4

Can you cook??

Best grilled cheese ever.

Do you cry during sad movies?

I cry at BAD movies. Why did I fucking waste my time watching Dukes of Hazzard?

Are you religious, if so what religion?

All of them and none of them

Are you a dreamer, or are you down to earth?

BOTH- take that

Favorite day of the week?

The day when I sleep the most and get money.

Are you spontaneous?

Umm,,,,,Im not sure,,,,let me think about it,,,,maybe I can come up with an answer ,,,,,later.

Would you rather stay in or go out?

yes

Do you like to be alone sometimes?

Yes alone time is important, wait by alone do you mean completely alone?   I am usually with the Girls of Smallville callender  during my  special alone time?

What do you feel is the most important part of a relationship?

Not to shave my head while I sleep.

Someone who can be talked out of pressing charges.

A girl who says she will see a doctor about those open soars and does it.

Mutual love of Krafft Mac & cheese

Accepting that the most important thing I can do and the only way I can show my concern and respect is to pound on the  closed bathroom door and ask   "Are you poopin?"

A girl that doesnt insist on pointing out that my ninja suit makes me look fat.

How do you feel about drugs & alcohol?

People can tolerate me more when they use them

Are you an innie or an outie?

Im an innie right now. I will go outie to buy some milk.

Why should I pick you?

Ill be a great girlfriend/boyfriend

What is your best feature?

My love of dance

What do you think of me?

Depends,,,Is any of this making you laugh? If not then FU snotty.

 

Why would you make a great girlfriend?

 

I would be a great girlfriend! We could have sleep overs, have pillow fights, practice kissing.        This whole being a girlfriend started off as being a joke but I think Im kinda getting turned on.

What do you like best about me?

That you send out form letters so I can attempt to be funny in responce

How would you make me laugh?

Well if you think for a second I would waste a half hour coming up with wacky answers to some lame questions. Forget that because I am far too important to spend time on something that foolish. If you want to laugh so badly You can just watch some Mamas Family.

How happy do you think you'd make me?

Not very. I wear on people nerves after awhile. Hard to believe I know.

 

Whats the least important thing in a relationship?

Putting importance on things like:

Me NOT sleeping with your sister

Showering

Trying to claim that being spanked with a Hot Wheel track ISNT sexy or even normal

Its my birthday. I want a present. You would?

Panic and Pretend that I didnt forget. Then blame those fuckers at UPS for losing the package.

How would you show me that you really like me, in person?

The only way I can : Shadow puppets.