Random Thoughts 5- Revenge of Michael Myers and Julie London
Dec 16, 2007
There was a line in Mean Girls about Halloween costumes that girls seeking attention would just wear their underwear and add bunny, cat, or mouse ears and call it a costume
Now that seems to have left. Now more disturbing are women's costumes are basically little girls clothes with accessories. Gingham short shirts, knee socks, black shoes. Basically the same kind of outfit Alice In Wonderland wears, but just add angel, butterfly, ladybug wings and its instant sexy costume.
Ok now more disturbing. Little girls that I saw dressed up are wearing fake leather or animal print pants, a lot of makeup, and glittery tops. When asked what they are dressed up as and they say a singer, a pop star , or a Bratz Doll.
Which is another way of saying whore.
So whores dress up like little girls and little girls dress up like whores.
This is possibly the most confusing holiday to have a frightened penis.
What do I give out to a trick-or-treater dressed as a whore?
My phone number.Just kidding don't call Dateline.
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Now most of you know I have an OCD in getting rare Tv shows. Even if I don't want to watch them, somebody will want it someday. And I better have it.
There is this torch singer from the 50's and 60's named Julie London. She was in a ton of movies and tv. She has a huge following of old guys over 50 and gay dudes in their 30s. With the exception of my friend John-Tony who deeply loves her, and as far I can tell he isn't in her two main fan bases. Now she did this Tv special in Japan that was never aired. Someone got a hold of the master tapes and asked me if I wanted a copy. Now I remember hearing grampa (old guy) loved Julie London. So I thought I would get it for him. I did a search on this special and found a Julie London fan page ran by two guys (in their 30's,,,,,,,) and had a whole section devoted to this rare tv special and they believed the master tapes were destroyed and how crushed they are and would do anything to see it but were saddened that they would never get to see the fabulousness of their idol. I started to get excited that I had the pink holy grail.
Cut to Thanksgiving at Grandma's & Grandpa's. After dinner I remembered Brenton had hooked up their dvd player and I wanted him to help me test the dvd to see if it would work in their player.
He found it wasn't plugged in because grandma has a 1600's replica Norwegian Christmas village taking up the entire top of her entertainment center and 14 of the outlets (with splitters) of her 6 outlet power strip.
She came in the room and said to wait until after Christmas to plug that in. I told her that I just wanted to test a dvd and I promised I would plug everything back in.< SPAN>
Then it turns out the dvd player is run through the vcr. Which isn't plugged in.
I asked Grandpa if he had a dvd player in his room.
He said ",,,,,,I,,,,,,used,,,to,,,"
in that stretched out way that usually means there is a story that something went horribly wrong with the dvd player or he just forgot where it was. Either way no follow up question from me.
I just then hooked up the vcr. And played Julie London
"Who's that?"
"Julie London you really like her" then in that same stretched out way
",,,,,I don't know,,,,who that is,,,,,,,,,,,,"
"She was a singer and was on the show Emergency"
Then without any pauses he said:
"Nope don't know that is"
So I knew he was sure.
So that was that.
I returned power to the Norwegian village and had some pie.
I guess if I wanted to be fawned on and appreciated I guess I should send a copy to Ace and Gary that run her website, but instead it's on it's way to John Tony.
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Of all the capades, I would have to say Ice is my favorite
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What's the deal with Drew Barrymore? She just keeps getting better looking. When she was 20 and did Playboy she kinda looked like, well,,a cleaned up truckstop waitress. But it seems each year she just gets hotter. In 2 years you will only be able to look at her with a special box with a hole in it.
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This Myspace girl decided she wanted to make a private group here just for girls to discuss their problems. She couldn't come up with a name so she sent out a bulletin for ideas. I sent her two top list of names. I'm not sure why but she didn't use any of my ideas for her girl group.
1. Hold my purse
2. Pop Tarts
3. Mighty Morphin (P-word) Rangers
4. Let's start a rumor about her
5. Golden Girls Gone Wild
6. The Scratching post
7. Well If You Don't Know Then I'm Certainly Not Going To Tell You
8. Estrogen Beehive
9. The Easy Bake Oven
10. "Ouch, You're on my hair"
1. Meow Mix
2. O-B-G-Y-not?
3. Monumental waste of time
4. Barbie's Dream House
5. Toilet Seat down
6. The Bangles
7. Pink States
8. Oprah-ific
9. More Closet Space
10. Johnny Depp is Dreamy Clubhouse
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Since people have the impression that I'm mean or so angry with these blogs. Really I'm not that angry. It's just my shtick.
Think of me as a young Andy Rooney without the good looks or charm
And now onto something new:
Douchebag awards
This one is for Douchebags at the movies.
Nominee 1: I won't see it can't live up to the hype.
Basically what this person is saying I am unable to make my own decision. I can't enjoy a movie if I saw a character on a Doritos bag.
Nominee 2 : I'm not going to watch a movie that looks like a video game
Hey dumbass. Movies look like movies. Video games look like video games. Star Wars didn't look like a video game, because video games looked like PONG. By the time Blade Runner came out video games had advanced to Donkey Kong. But see guys who grew up watching those movies started designing programs so games would look like those movies. Two streams of technology are crossing paths. Shut the F up.
Nominee 3;
At the concession stand you get to hear someone complain about the prices. Because it's a new thing that food prepared by someone else in an establishment cost more than it does at your house. But one time when this douche aimed his brilliant commentary to me and said "How can they charge $8 for a tub of popcorn that stuff only cost $8 for a whole barrel" I replied "You know the movie you are seeing cost 120 million dollars to make, but it's only costing you $8.50 to see it"
Nominee 4: I didn't pay to see a commercial at the theater.
You're right you get that for free! 20 years ago cartoon penguins bought the Sprite on the desert road trip. Did you think it was going to go away?
Now remember there are no winners and it's just an honor to be nominated
But the Douchie goes to:Concession stand J.O.
Concession stand guy couldn't be here tonight he's busy explaining how hilarious it is that hot dogs come in eight but buns come in twelve.
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