random thoughts 3: Randomer With A Vengeance

random thoughts 3: Randomer With A Vengeance

Aug 23, 2007

Not just with Loveline I'm also always on-call for anyone with a need for worthless knowledge.
Brian at CD Source (soon to be relocated in Cherryvale Mall) called me to ask me a music question. A customer was looking for a Bon Jovi song. He said it was from a movie soundtrack.
I said Young Guns. It wasn't.
He knew the song title. Edge of Broken Heart.  I thought it was Nelson. They had a song with a similar name.
Anyway I gave up and looked on amazon. Which to someone like me, is the ultimate defeat.
Turns out it was on the soundtrack to Disorderlies. The Fat Boys movie.
Who decided,
"You know what we need in this movie about a morbidly obese novelty Rap group?
More Bon Jovi!"

Well that cd is understandably out of print and goes for around $40. The only other place you can get it is on the box set
40 MILLION FANS CAN'T BE WRONG
(I don't know where to begin with the falsehoods in that title)

So I get to sit back like Chloe from 24 and crush a Jovi fan because either way it's going to cost that dude $40 for one song.

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There are more guys I know from high school on the Illinois Sex Offender Database than listed on classmates.com.

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I've found a worse plague to this society than cell phones. And that's texting.

It's asinine. If you need to send a quick message it's fine. I thought it was just a kid thing because that's who I was first annoyed with it. They would say "it's fun you can make up words."

First it isn't fun. I type about 8 hours a day. And not once did I ever think you know what would make this better: doing this same thing on a smaller area using only my thumbs.

Second we have enough words. You don't need to make up new ones. FU ReTrdS :)

Now I see adults doing this. Again not just one quick sentence but lines of conversations. The time wasted it takes to type many sentences, if only you had a device in your hand that you could talk to this person instead of using jackass abbreviations.  Once again  FU ReTrdS :)

Next time you watch someone vigorously texting. Picture at rat eating cheese. Or the home schooled kid solving a rubix cube in a minute. Congratulations on your achievement.

The only thing I hate more than texting is when you pronounce it TEXING.

Text-ing is an A-hole pastime that makes you look like a rodent with OCD.

Tex-ing is what the cowboys did to each other in Brokeback Mountain.

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Now the above rant reminds me of the shifting lines of not adulthood but being old. I think I have valid points and not just sounding like a mean old man afraid of technology. I don't know what act your age means anymore. Girls in there late 30's are getting their first tattoos. There are bands in the Warp tour that have guys are in their 40s playing to teenage skaterpunks. I dress like a pizza delivery guy and my house looks like a dorm room.

I think the lines got blurred when guys stopped smoking pipes.

 That's how you knew a guy reached maturity. He wore a sweater smoked a pipe.

Bring back the pipe.

The only headline that would bring true joy to my life is this:

GUITAR HERO CAUSES STERILITY.

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Worse Toy Name

The "Pooh Sprinkler" ,,,,,,,?
This is what I used to call myself after I ate at TACO BELL

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A few months ago I acquired a  box of non-sports cards. Non sports cards are what they call trading cards for the pale kids. Ones that don't get out of the house. They are mainly based on Tv & movies.Here are some of the wrappers:

Now what kind of life did the kid have who bought these?
Did he get the crap beat out of him? Or did other kids take advantage of him? "hey I'll trade you both your Joe DiMaggio's' for this Sally Field rookie card"

Well I guess this explains why these card collectors are such humorless bores.

Here are two of the most scandalous events in non-sports card lore.



I'm thinking of using this as my main myspace picture.

And this 1977 gem. Seems a bored tech at lucasfilms decided to give C-3PO a little something extra




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So my efforts to raise funds for the animal shelter is a rocky one.

We did a night at a Pizza buffet where we would bus tables and the tips we collected would go to the shelter. I have never or wanted to work any type of food service. But I found out I am a rockin' busboy. No spills no breakage. I can bob and weave around people like one of those ,,,,,,,,

(what are those guys called,

not felons,

not date rapists ,,,oh ya)

professional athletes.

Plus even though I generally don't care for people they do seem to like me. And took in a bunch of tips. It's nice to know that I have something to fall back on in case whatever it is I do now to make a living falls through.

Now a entirely different fundraiser that I am doing completely alone is gathering comic and movie items to do a ebay auction this Christmas. I started with just the people I know and worked outward. I'm getting a great response from everyone. Some of the biggest names in comics have donated something. Also have a promise for merchandise from Dc Comics and Dark Horse to send things.

You know who is cool. Michael Madsen.

He's the badass from Reservoir Dogs, Sin City, and Kill Bill. He signed a bunch of posters for the auction. Not only did he not cut off my ear he said I was a good guy and it was a good idea. Then as I left he said "save some doggies"

In future episodes I will go into detail about who isn't cool.

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So I had a date. I believe.

More shocking an age appropriate date.

I was talking to a friend about this woman at the shelter that freaks me out. She doesn't work there she just comes in a lot to visit the animals with her daughter and son. She's friendly but makes tons of comments about having an empty bed, not having a man around. And makes not so subtle sexual comments about everything towards me.

Now I was explaining to this friend about this woman. And he took that as I was somehow frightened by assertive women. I'm not. I'm frightened by this woman. So he thought the answer would be to fix me up with the exact opposite. I didn't know any of this at the time. He said to meet up at a restaurant/bar with some friends. 

And I'm trying to be more social and get out of the house more. So I went. Him and his wife and one girl. And they scrammed not much longer after I got there.

 So I'm eating my cheese sticks with my new "friend".  I  believe the only thing she was told about me was He likes animals & He likes to tell stories.

Because she kept asking How many animals do you have. What's your favorite story. Tell me a story about your animals.

She really didn't have much else to say except to let me know that she didn't know why guys don't find her interesting.

I did think Maybe because you are not.

Now as if the evening wasn't going bad enough what do you think could happen to put the

cherry on this crap sundae?

She started texting.  Which if you have read this far (and I understand if you haven't) She would have been more appealing if she kicked a puppy.

So she keeps doing it. But she does apologize to me and says she has to tell her friend that she's on date.

Hmm well not only news to me ,,,,,,

but now I feel I have just been tex-ed by my friend